my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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