im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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