Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
