My hand turned me down
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
only you would photoshop your dick
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
