Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
