Pappa wants mamma naked
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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