Midget sex pt 2 tonight
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think I just sharted jello shots
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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