Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I skipped work to stalk him.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
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