Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
