Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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