people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
