Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
zippers are such a cool invention
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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