Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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