During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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