1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
