Cold hands, warm shart.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
