i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
