We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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