I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
