dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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