No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
