when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
