Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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