found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
