Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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