No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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