so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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