OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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