So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
