New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
