it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
