Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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