VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
he had hair everywhere except his balls
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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