Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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