He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
