just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
