just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
