ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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