i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
