she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
