yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
