I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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