i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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