I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Ketchup is God's man juice
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
