that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
