you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
