I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
