All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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