Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
