he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
