Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
