Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We are two peas in an std pod
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
